ALL THE PLEASANT FACES

It’s been a while I’ve been sleeping–

About 2 weeks, if we are trying to be exact–

But there’s an ever-present feeling

That it takes more than melatonin to clean up a month of holding back.

And I’m telling you I’m trying to quit,

But you know me better than I know myself, so you know that’s a load of shit.

And it hurts me just a little bit

When you say “I don’t know if you can do it,” but fuck it, I’ll get over it.

Clouds in my vision, I can barely see.

There’s a rift between myself and me.

I call it “all work and no play,”

But I’ve been bed to bed for 14 straight days,

And though I say it’s in good taste,

I think it’s time to turn the page.

It’s been a while I’ve woken up alone

And all that time I’ve thought that’s just what’s meant to be.

An empty bed and no one calls my phone.

Separated from all the pleasant faces I can see.

And in the haze I can remember you

But it’s a distant recollection of perfection, of when “us” was all I knew.

And when it was, I hope you felt it too

But it’s time to move on, time to let go, time to start something new.

Clouds in my vision, I can barely see.

There’s been a rift between myself and me.

I’m trying to dislodge,

But your face is shining through the camouflage.

What went around is coming back

In subterfuge and blind self-sabotage.